If I were Gay
by chibiukyou
Summary: AxY Yohji convinces Aya to go to a DanceKaraoke club with him. Warning: contains singing, seduction and lots and lots of beer. Now with The Morning After
1. The Karaoke Club

If I Were Gay

A Weiss Kreuz songfic type …thing…in ..um…one part!

Standard Disclaimers Apply!

"C'mon Aya!! Loosen up! We're here to have fun!" Ran Fujimiya, or more known as Aya to almost everyone, winced as the loud voice of his blonde teammate yelled in his ear over the even louder music. Narrowing his eyes in anger, he glared at everyone in the room. How he had gotten roped into coming to this god-forsaken place he didn't know, but he sure as hell wasn't happy about it.

"I refuse to 'loosen up', as you put it." He growled back at Youji, never taking his eyes off of the crowd of bodies writhing in front of him. "We have to be on our guard. Who knows what could happen in a place like this." He stated, his voice the usual deadpan. He felt Youji's strong hands on his shoulders and he was turned around to face the playboy.

"This is a dance and karaoke club!" Youji practically yelled, giving Aya a little shake. He ignored the death glare that he was receiving and gestured widely with one hand to include everyone in the room. "No one is going to try anything except maybe get your phone number!" As soon as the words left his lips he knew that he had messed up. Aya's eyes narrowed even further to the point where the deep violet couldn't be seen. 

"You mean someone will try to …date… me?" The redhead's lips curled on the word 'date' and Youji resisted the urge to beat his head against the wall.

"They won't try to date you!? Just buy you a few drinks or…something." Giving up, he removed his hands from Aya's shoulders and sighed. "Look, just… do whatever you want… there's some fine women in here." Shaking his head, he walked away from his team leader, making a beeline for the bar to grab himself a drink, before heading over to the group of giggling women in the corner.

Glaring at the retreating back of the blonde, Aya's eyes narrowed to the point where he couldn't see anymore and he decided that being angry wasn't working. He was stuck here no matter what he thought of it, and all he wanted was to forget the humiliating fact that he was in a …dance… and…_karaoke_ bar… _::Maybe being drunk will work instead::_ He thought as he wandered over to where the alcoholic beverages were being sold. 

"Hey there, you're pretty hot." As Aya settled himself onto one of the stools at the bar, he heard a slurred and sleazy voice of a drunken man, talking to him from off to the right. Ignoring the offending gentleman, Aya opened his mouth to order a beer when the would-be romancer beat him to it. "Hey, barkeep! I want two beers for me and my friend here." Aya prepared one of his best death glares and turned his head to unleash it on the drunkard and then stopped in surprise.

Instead of the forty-year-old, portly balding man he had expected, he was shocked to see a pleasantly attractive young man who looked to be in his early twenties, with short green hair and eyes of the oddest shade of blue. The man winked at Aya and turned to grab the two beers offered them by the bartender. Handing one to Aya, he quickly opened the top on his own and took a deep swallow.

Aya hesitantly accepted the bottle of beer and, keeping his eyes trained on the person in front of him, slowly twisted off the cap. The green haired man flashed him a quick grin when he saw how suspicious Aya was acting and held out his hand in the American gesture of greeting.

"Hiya." Aya stared. "Hey! You don't have to glare at me!! I'm just trying to be friendly!" When he saw that the redhead wasn't going to shake his hand, he grabbed his beer and took another quick drink. Aya, having finally gotten the top off of his, took a cautious sip of his own, swishing the liquid around in his mouth for a moment to see if he could detect any poisons. Tasting nothing but beer, he swallowed what was in his mouth and looked once more at the man in front of him.

"Hi." The blue eyed man blinked at the cold, deadpan of Aya's voice and then shrugged. Letting his eyes roam over the redhead's body, he again offered Aya a grin, his eyes twinkling.

"My name's Cil! What's yours?" Cil said, his voice cheery. Aya looked at him suspiciously.

"Cil?" He questioned. _::What an odd name::_ He thought, as Cil rolled his eyes.

"Its short for Priscilla. My parents thought it'd be fun to name me that." Another quick swig of his beer. "So, what's your name?"

"Aya." Short and to the point.

"What a pretty name. Looks like we both have girl's names in common." Ignoring the sudden glare that was directed at him, Cil raised his hand to signal the bartender over for more beer. His was almost empty, even though Aya had barely touched his own.

With a small sigh, Aya took a deep swallow of his beer, letting the bitter drink settle in his 

stomach. He hadn't eaten anything for a while, having been too preoccupied with glaring at everyone in the club, and he knew he'd have to watch how much he drank or else he'd get drunk. However, looking at the bottle clutched in his hand and at the cute green haired guy in front of him, he figured that the night wasn't a total waste. _::Free beer. Hrm… maybe this club thing isn't so bad after all::_

^_^_^_^

Youji let his eyes roam the crowd, his beer clutched in one hand and a girl hanging onto the other. Spotting the familiar redhead over by the bar, Youji excused himself from his groupies and shoved his way through the mass of squirming bodies. He stopped in his tracks as he saw the mound of beer bottles next to Aya and stared. 

A man in his young twenties was leaning over the growing pile of bottles and was whispering in Aya's ear. And living. Youji blinked in surprise at the fact that his touchy teammate wasn't doing anymore than sitting there…and was that a grin on his face?! Youji felt his eyes widen even more as he stared at the eighth wonder of the world. A grinning Aya. 

Deciding he'd better go save him, Youji continued on his way over to where his friend sat, getting hit on shamelessly by a rather nice looking man. Tapping Aya on the shoulder, he stared unamused as the redhead whirled around as if caught off guard. _::He can't be *that* drunk, can he?::_ Youji thought, keeping his face neutral. 

"Youji!!" At the sound of Aya's voice, Youji blinked and stared hard at the slightly flushed face of his teammate. He could almost swear Aya sounded chipper. He snapped to as he realized Aya was still speaking. "There you are!! I want you to meet my new friend!" Yep. That's some definite chipperness going on there. 

"Hi! I'm Cil!" Aya's friend, Cil, smiled sweetly at Youji, and held out his hand to shake. He looked harmless enough, but the innocent demeanor didn't fool Youji. He saw the way Cil's eyes traveled his body, plus the way he was all over Aya. _::Probably a whore.::_[1] He thought, resisting the urge to curl his lip. Ignoring the proffered hand, he turned his attention back to the sloshed Aya.

"How many drinks have you had?" He asked, grabbing one of Aya's arms and throwing it over his neck. He was vaguely annoyed at the redhead for having gotten drunk, since it was dampening his entire evening. He would feel like crap in the morning if he left Aya to this preying man whore, not to mention Aya would kill him once the hangover was gone. But damnit! It was his night out! And here he was, playing mommy for someone whom obviously couldn't hold his liquor well.

"Only a few… " Aya's voice was so slurred Youji could barely understand what he was saying, and he blinked as Aya attempted to count on his fingers with only one hand. "Uhm… I lost count after eight I think…." Youji nearly groaned. This coming from someone who barely never drank meant that he was completely off his rocker drunk. Youji had had only seven or so, and *he* was feeling a bit tipsy and he could hold his liquor way better than Aya.

"Right. We're going home." He said, hauling the near limp Aya off of his stool and started making his way to the exit, ignoring the slurred protests of both Aya and Cil. He shoved through the crowds, hunched over from nearly supporting Aya's weight and winced as they made it a little too close to the karaoke stage. Some woman was on stage singing to one of the recent pop songs, though she really *shouldn't* have been on stage. 

He nearly fell over as he felt Aya stop moving with him and he turned to see Aya staring at the stage, an almost childlike expression on his face. 

"Look Youji!! Karaoke!!" He pointed to the singing woman excitedly and Youji couldn't help but 

do his breathing exercises, given to him by the doctor, to keep himself from dying of shock from seeing Aya acting like a little child. 

"Yeah I see it. It's been here the whole night, you know." Youji's patience was wearing really thin and he had restrain himself from feeling bitter at his drunken teammate for making him miss out on all the hot chicks. He blinked as he realized that Aya wasn't listening to him, nor was he anywhere near. 

Looking up at the stage, he nearly fell over as he saw Aya standing there with a mic in his hand. In a few strides, Youji was up there with him, intent on coaxing his friend off stage before he made a fool of both of them. Aya just held up a hand as Youji attempted to grab his arm and the blonde was startled to see Aya looking like his usual serious self and not the drunken child he was earlier. 

As the music started up and Aya gripped his mic slightly better, Youji marveled at how gorgeous he was. With the dim light of the club shining off his red hair, he looked almost angelic. Pausing, Youji considered what he had just thought and felt himself feeling slightly faint. _::Must be the beer::_ He wouldn't think that about Aya… well, he wouldn't ever do anything about it anways. The moody redhead would kill him if he ever so much as touched him, not that Youji had ever wanted to of course….;; 

He moved a little closer as Aya stared directly at him, his mouth moving along with the words. For some reason he felt an almost inexplicable urge to kiss the singing redhead, but restrained himself. He didn't fee like dying. Aya's voice reached his ears and he blinked at the lyrics…

__

//**Here we are dear old friend,**

You and I, Drunk again

Laughs have been had, and tears have been shed,

Maybe the whiskey's gone to my head//

Taking another step closer, Youji stared deep into Aya's eyes… ::_What was he trying to get at?::_ The urge to kiss the redhead was stronger than it ever had been. Aya continued singing, staring into Youji's questioning eyes.

**__**

//But if I were gay I would give you my heart,

And if I were gay you'd be my work of art

And if I were gay we would swim in romance…

But I'm not gay, so get your hand out of pants//

Looking down, Youji snatched his hand back, his eyes wide with shock. _::How did that get there?!:: _And Aya still sang on. 

**__**

//It's not that I don't care… I do

I just don't see myself in you

Another time, another scene

I'd be right behind you, if you know what I mean//

Gulping, Youji's mind ran through all the possibilities of that statement and his eyes fluttered almost closed.

**__**

//'Cuz if I were gay I would give you my soul

And if I were gay I would give you my hole…being

And if I were gay we would tear down the walls…

But I'm not gay… so won't you stop cupping my….hand…//

::Gahh!! How did that get there again!?:: As the song drew to a close, Youji noticed that him and Aya were steadily moving closer to one another, and he could feel his body anticipating the touch of the normally cold redhead.

**__**

//We've never hugged, we've never kissed

I've never been intimate with your fist

You have opened brand new doors,

Get over here and Drop. Your. Drawers~!//

Aya's voice slowly trailed off on the last note and he dropped the mic to the stage floor. Youji stared at him, not knowing what to expect. This drunk Aya was something he'd never seen and didn't know what he would do next. But this sexy, serious singing Aya was preferred to the whiny childish Aya. 

Oh hell yes.

The music died as the song ended and Youji stared at Aya as the ending lyrics sunk into his brain. He didn't time to wonder what could possibly be meant by that, before he was abruptly pulled to the Aya's chest and the redhead's lips pressed roughly against his. 

Giving into to his urge, he wrapped his arms around Aya's neck and kissed back eagerly, ignoring the catcalls and whistles from the other people in the club. _::Ahh…screw it::_

^_^_^_^

Cil watched the two kissing on stage and felt a little lonely. Taking another swig of his beer, he shrugged and turned away from the two. He was glad that they got together, as he was every time that this happened, but he couldn't help but feel a little left out. 

Letting his gaze wander idly across the various other couples in the club, making out, he couldn't help but feel a little proud. His club was doing very well, quite popular and he knew that he was helping people. Spying a man sitting alone in the corner, Cil grabbed two beers and started making his way over to where his next vict…er, friend awaited unknowingly.

After all, it wasn't every club that put aphrodisiac in their beer was it?

~*~Owari~*~ (Thank God)

[1]: Er…Right. This is sort of an inside joke between me and some friends… see, I was talking on the phone with one of them and she was making fun of me because I have bad hearing (Too much J-pop at high volumes) and how I always hear things wrong… and so she said "Hearing aids ahoy!" …except I misheard her as "Your gay's a whore!" ..and thus Priscilla was born.. No honestly… I'm as scared as you are …

Author's Notes: Right. So … Don't ask, I don't even know… I wish I knew what the hell happened to this… because it started out as something, while not exactly angsty, it sure wasn't random like that…x.x I have no clue what happened, but somewhere along here, I was gifted with a bowl of Mint Chocolate Chip Icecream…perhaps you can tell at which part I got it….u_u …

This fic (can it be called that) frightens me….x.x It should frighten you too… and I think I need to go to bed now…I've been up wayyy too long to write…One would think that I would have known that before I started writing ne? 

*gulp* Hope no one died in the process of reading this… I know I almost did while writing… 

Oh and the song belongs to Stephen Lynch… you should download it… its friggin hilarious! 


	2. The Morning After

Author's Notes: Ahhh..the long awaited (yeah right) sequel to 'If I Were Gay'! I know you were all waiting on pins and needles for it... . Haha, really I don't know what happened to get me all sorts of inspired to write this. It was truly only going to be a few paragraphs (which is what it is... but it was going to be SHORTER) but I guess it uhh...didn't work out like that. You know how it goes. Anyways... I give you:

If I Were Gay: The Morning After

By: Chibiukyou

Yohji woke early the next morning with a killer headache. With a groan, he shaded his eyes with his arm, trying to shut out all of the too bright lights and the too loud sounds.

"Just kill me now and get it over with. God, I swear I'll never drink again, just make it go away." God, of course, ignored him because it was a plea Yohji had made after every night of heavy drinking before promptly going out and getting entirely too drunk again. Florists just weren't very reliable.

In the midst of contemplating the pros and cons of just dying right there or suffering through the agony, it dawned on him that he was not in his own bed. The fact that he was naked didn't surprise him since he always slept in the nude. His sheets, however, were most definately not that rough, being made of silk and satin for the ladies' (and his own) comfort. Peeling his arm away from his face, Yohji risked a glance around the room before the glaring light forced him to recover his face with a hiss. Yep, he was right. Definately not his bed and most definately not his room. In fact, as he thought further on it while trying to still his roiling stomach, the room looked remarkably like Aya's.

'_What in the world am I doing in Aya's room!'_ He thought desperately, hoping that he hadn't done anything stupid like gotten too drunk and kicked Aya out of his bed. '_He's going to kill me! I am so dead. There goes the debate._' Resigning himself to his fate, he bared his eyes, squinting into the light and started to sit up only to flop back down as a new pain overtook the one in his head. His ass hurt like nothing he had ever felt before and he couldn't, for the life of him, remember why. '_Hangover and ass pains... great. I really am never drinking again...what did I do? Sit on a pole!'_ Right as he thought that, a small movement to his left caused him to freeze and his eyes widen in a horrified gaze.

Staring at the disheveled red head just waking up in the bed next to him, all the events of the previous night came flooding back. '_Oh god... we didn't... no, not possible.' _But it was all making sense now; why he was in Aya's bed, why his ass hurt ('_I can't believe I was bottom!')_.

"Yohji... you had better have an explanation as to why you're in my bed. And it had better be a really good one." Aya all but growled out, yanking the sheets and blankets more closely around him. Yohji could only guess that he was naked under there too, and had to fight off the sudden urge to wriggle under there and see for himself.

"Hey, don't try to blame this all on me buddy. You were the one singing." Not much of an explanation, but as Aya's expression changed from angry to horrified and a blush started to creep up his cheeks, Yohji knew that he had remembered too.

"You mean... you...me..." This blushing, stuttering Aya was just too cute and Yohji couldn't help but chuckle (to himself, of course) at his bedmate. Perhaps seeing the amusement in Yohji's face, Aya suddenly cleared his throat and continued in a more normal voice, a tone of authority ringing in the words. "Regardless of what happened between the two of us, and it will _never_ happen again, it is never to be spoken of again and as far as we're concerned, it never happened." His eyes held the promise of death if Omi or Ken or hell, even the plants were to hear of the two of them getting together and screwing like a pair of drunken rabbits.

The imagery his mind created at that last thought was just too much for Yohji, and with the memory of last night fresh in his mind and temptation so close at hand, he gave into his urge and dove under the blankets.

"Yohji! What are you doing! Yohj...oh..."

Owari


End file.
